The traditional method is litigation. This is where you go to court, hurl accusations against your spouse, divulge your private financial information to the world as it is public record, create a record so that when your children are 18, they can go and read all the horrible things you each said about each other or your nosy neighbors or the media if you are a public figure.
The other alternative processes require an agreement between each spouse to enter this process:
You can hire a private judge (typically a retired judicial officer) to arbitrate or try your case outside of the courthouse.
You can mediate your case. This is usually the least expensive way unless you go through litigation each being self represented. Mediation works when you each are reasonable and relatively close in your goals.
Collaborative Law is a full team process more fully set forth under the FAQ for Collaborative law. This is a team approach to resolving all of the issues. There is more private than litigation. This process is typically less expensive than litigation but more expensive than mediation. This is usually a much quicker process than litigation and more peaceful.